#464 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Friday September 23)
musingsbeyondthebunker.substack.com
Good morning, MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES There is an old adage that “good fences make good neighbors.” The corollary of this maxim, and a mantra of today’s generation, is that people need to “establish boundaries.” The common wisdom is that we should establish boundaries in our relationships. The idea is not to let other people get out of line; don’t let their expectations govern your life; don’t accept unsolicited advice; don’t allow them to interfere with you and your desires. Establishing boundaries also means that people who engage in speech with others must honor the established boundaries regarding topics that are off-limits or the personal sensitivities of the recipient. So, on college campuses, the boundaries of delicate students, all with established belief systems honed through years of study and experience (yes, I’m being sarcastic) must be honored. And, of course, there are boundaries around whether one can challenge any notion that doesn’t meet any prevailing orthodoxy. Of course there are circumstances when revisiting prior traumas can elicit stress and discomfort, and controlling for such traumatic events is part of self-care. But more often than not, the establishment of boundaries derives more from preconceptions that might not stand the test of scrutiny, close-minded certainty as to one’s perspective, or unusual sensitivity and judgment of the speaker when he or she speaks. I’ve been thinking about the drawing of boundaries and I just don’t think that more boundaries, in many cases, is really what we need more of.
#464 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Friday September 23)
#464 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Friday…
#464 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Friday September 23)
Good morning, MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES There is an old adage that “good fences make good neighbors.” The corollary of this maxim, and a mantra of today’s generation, is that people need to “establish boundaries.” The common wisdom is that we should establish boundaries in our relationships. The idea is not to let other people get out of line; don’t let their expectations govern your life; don’t accept unsolicited advice; don’t allow them to interfere with you and your desires. Establishing boundaries also means that people who engage in speech with others must honor the established boundaries regarding topics that are off-limits or the personal sensitivities of the recipient. So, on college campuses, the boundaries of delicate students, all with established belief systems honed through years of study and experience (yes, I’m being sarcastic) must be honored. And, of course, there are boundaries around whether one can challenge any notion that doesn’t meet any prevailing orthodoxy. Of course there are circumstances when revisiting prior traumas can elicit stress and discomfort, and controlling for such traumatic events is part of self-care. But more often than not, the establishment of boundaries derives more from preconceptions that might not stand the test of scrutiny, close-minded certainty as to one’s perspective, or unusual sensitivity and judgment of the speaker when he or she speaks. I’ve been thinking about the drawing of boundaries and I just don’t think that more boundaries, in many cases, is really what we need more of.