Good morning,
THINGS WE NEED TO SAY MORE OFTEN
Las summer I attended a lecture by Kelly Corrigan, author of Tell Me More. I was intrigued enough to purchase her book, which is well outside my usual preference in genres.
The book is subtitled “Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say.” This subtitle encapsulates two ideas I’ve been carrying around (and about which I’ve been lecturing others…). The first is that words have meaning, and carefully chosen words can have particularly important meaning. The second is that we too often hold inside of us things that we should be expressing to our friends and family—things that not only will convey our own human empathy and essence, but often will allow us to better explore ourselves and our innermost feelings.
Some of these “hardest things to say” are obvious and others not so much (together with my brief observation on each):
It’s like this. This is the proverbial “accepting things as they are” and realizing we can change less than we think.
Tell me more. I agree. I often think people are so anxious to share their own stories and are not nearly inquisitive enough about the other person. Sometimes, we need to prod a bit to get it out. Often, we learn so much through another person’s story—how they are as they are and how their story can inform us in our journey.
I don’t know. I’ve often said to young attorneys and businesspeople that it’s okay to say you don’t know. The worst thing to do is the make up an answer, making things worse or requiring further clarification and back-tracking later. But also knowing our limits and when to ask for help is an important trait.
I know. The counter to the above. There are things we do know and these things should be shared and taught.
No. It’s easier to say yes than to draw limits and say no. Sometimes no is the right answer.
Yes. Know what you love and say yes to doing more of it.
I was wrong. I think this is the hardest thing for many of us to utter. But it’s okay. Admitting one was wrong can save relationships, explain behaviors, demonstrate humility and set us on the road to making a better choice next time.
Good enough. Sometimes good enough is good enough. The perfect is, after all, the enemy of the good.
I love you. One cannot express this emotion too many times. We have relationships we treasure and we need to evoke that emotion.
No words at all. Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do. Silence is not the lack of empathy or emotion. Sometimes it is the best expression of these emotions.
Onward. As I am fond of saying, “stop living life in the rear-view mirror.” What is done is done. Look forward—ever onward.
This is it. The lives we are living are the ones we have—mostly by choice but sometimes by quirks of fate, luck, or random setbacks. But the life we are in is the only one we have. Accept it and live it.
IT’S A COMPLETELY NATURAL FOOD
I love breakfast. I do not follow the guidance about the value of “intermittent fasting” (that said, I fast from around 8:30 at night until 7:30 in the morning—isn’t eleven hours enough?). Rather, I follow the adage that “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
Among my favorites are pancakes (of various varieties—all from scratch—no mix!), huevos rancheros, the breakfast burrito (in its many stylings—arguably the perfectly balanced and delicious invention known to mankind), and matzo brei.
Many of the breakfast foods I enjoy are enhanced by a little bit of 100% pure maple syrup. I’m not talking about the ersatz syrups comprised of high fructose corn syrup and other unmentionables with names too unfamiliar to recognize. But the kind of syrup that’s never been served at IHOP!
Yes, I know, there are those who will say it’s just sugar. Fair enough, but it’s delicious sugar. And it’s natural. It’s not cloyingly sweet but with the proper dollop, it kicks up the octane for most things. Skip the brown sugar on the steel-cut oatmeal. The maple syrup is better.
Poor maple syrup was involved in one of the most bizarre food labeling controversies in recent years. It turns out the regulators wanted maple syrup to be identified on the bottle as containing “added sugar.” The maple syrup industry fought back. You can say that maple syrup contains a lot of sugar (essentially, other than the water content, all of it), but you can’t say it contains “added sugar.”
I’m ending now. My oatmeal is getting cold.
Have a great day,
Glenn
Thanks for the Musings of today Glenn. I do like the part of the content for Book, "Tell Me More" By Kelly Corrigan. Surely what we say or don't say matter a lot in our relationships. Am learning to articulately share my feelings, opinions, ideas and feedbacks in the best way possible.