Good morning,
Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. I don’t want to get into a whole dissertation about atonement and forgiveness (at least not today!) but want to highlight a few thoughts:
The atonement one makes in Temple is for sins committed against God. The rules are clear—we need to seek forgiveness from those we have wronged. Atonement is not magic wand waved over people’s heads and then everything is okay. It is the beginning of recognizing error, atoning, and beginning a process of improvement.
In trying to atone to someone else, the rule is that one should offer apology three times. After three times, if the recipient of the apology is unmoved, it is time to move on. You did your job (at least on the atonement part—but no the effort to improve,, which remains your obligation). Beyond the message that an apology must be sincere and repeated, if necessary, is the idea that there is a burden on the aggrieved party. I love that this rule suggests an obligation on the part of the person who was wronged. We are supposed to welcome the attempts by others to make amends and try to improve. Grudges are looked down upon. Just as we are asked to make recompense and seek forgiveness, we also are expected to forgive.
Rosh Hashanah is about celebrating the new year, while Yom Kippur asks that we change in the new year. I like the idea that the day of atonement follows the new year (Rosh Hashanah) and not the other way around. With the first, we are greeting a new year and all the positives associated with new beginnings. We are asked over the next ten days to reach inward, to take stock on our lives and seek ways to improve. Then Yom Kippur begins the “work” associated with the “play” of the new year. If it were the other way around, we would have the false sense that the days of reflection are finished off with celebration, and the inference that the work of living better lives is finished for the year. But, as we all should know, self-improvement is a lifelong commitment, as we all try to be better, happier, and kinder.
In any event, wishing all of you a great week and year ahead. If I have wronged you in any way, I’m sorry. If you want to tell me what I did wrong, please do. Expect an apology.
Warm regards,
Glenn
Glenn,
L' Shana Tova and G'mar Chitma Tova.
This is such a lovely commentary on the High Holy Days. Your reflections on atoning for one's wrong doings and offenses, for one's human failings, for falling short of living from one's highest good, explain beautifully the spirit of atonement on Yom Kippur.
And in that spirit, I earnestly want to apologize for any offenses of mine.
I am well aware of how harsh and judgmental my responses, remarks in these past few years have been towards those whose beliefs or points of view have been upsetting, coming across to me as out of touch and dangerous. My frustration and self- righteous indignation would get the better of me. I struggle with the angish I feel about the current state of our country, our democracy, as well as the rest of the world.
Your example of non-judgmental, compassionate and thoughtful consideration of those you may disagree with, no matter how differently you may have felt, spoke volumes and provided a lesson.
By the way, I caught myself too late when making a reference to "red neck". But I did cringe ( I hope you're back is much better).
I hope you can forgive me for any offense I might have caused you.
The thirteen attributes of G-d are repeated many times for a reason.
The rabbi from UCLA Hillel offered some amazing quotes on forgiveness and "letting go" I'd like to share:
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks - letting go of hate
"To be free, you have to let go of hate. If they continued to hate their erstwhile enemies, Moses would have taken the Israelites out of Egypt, but...they would still be in chains, not of metal but of the mind - and chains of the mind are the most constricting of all."
I wish for you and your family a most happy, healthy and sweet new year.