#354 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Wednesday May 18)
Good morning,
HEALTH REPORT
For those of you curious about my back surgery yesterday, early indications are it was successful. Of course, time will tell regarding the extent of that success. In the meantime, I’ve traded stenotic pain for surgical pain, which for the moment is tamped down by pain medications. As one of the few people of my generation who never engaged in recreational drugs, I must say that, at least in this instance, there is something to say for their positive properties!
Thank you all for all the kind words of support. They were much appreciated as I went in for my first surgery in 65 years!
CONTROL FREAKS UNITE!
The scariest part of the surgery for me (besides the fact that this was my first!) was not that someone would be rooting around in my spinal canal, but that I would be “knocked out” by general anesthesia. The idea of someone else controlling my awareness and breathing is something that didn’t sit well. Yes, I understand I’m a neurotic person who wants to feel “in control.” Mea culpa. Most of my pre-surgery questions were about the anesthesia. Fortunately, they were answered by a delightful anesthesiologist who turned out to be a classmate at USC (okay, so he went to UCLA medical school too!), lover of wine, and all-around good guy who put me at ease.
As I foolishly wasted time pondering the risks of anesthesia, I was thinking about all the times we put our lives into other people’s hands, when riding in a car, flying in a plane, or engaging in risky hobbies and pursuits. One such thing is the idea of jumping from a plane. I learned today that my Israeli cousin (once removed) has been working toward becoming a paratrooper. When his father and I acknowledged our fear of doing such a thing, I noted that if I’m ever reported to be jumping from a plane, check for foul play…!
CHINA EASTERN AIRLINES AND TRUST IN PILOTS
The preliminary results from the investigation of the China Eastern Airlines crash brought home the notion that we rely on others for our safety all the time. What American investigators have concluded is that it likely was an intentional act by one of the pilots. As I’ve written several times, air travel is extraordinarily safe and even more so in recent decades. There is an adage that for an aircraft disaster, a failure is required in three distinct areas: Bad weather, mechanical failure, and human error. Any one of these or two of these acting together should not result in a crash. Given that weather wasn’t a factor and there was no evidence of mechanical failure, the factor of human intent came into play. Given that the plane went into sudden and precipitous nose-dive, the likelihood of a mistake in judgment is dismissed in favor of intent. It is sobering to remember that we all travel on planes that are dependent upon the mental stability, judgment, and amount of rest of two people. That said, it is a tribute to great hiring, training, and continuing training that those whom we trust generally are solid, well-balanced and professionally prepared.
WE ARE ALL MORTAL
There are moments in each of our lives when the contemplation of our own mortality rears its head. Whether it’s a “close call” in the car, the death of a loved one, or a news report of some tragedy, we are from time to time jolted into contemplating this reality. While the risks of anesthesia are infinitesimal, I still paused to consider my own mortality. After all, we are told that “no one gets out of this alive,” so in times of even marginally greater risk, one’s mind can wander to the “worst case scenario.”
My focus on mortality no doubt was enhanced by recently reading book that takes the reader on a tour through “deep time” and the history of the Earth over these past 4.5 billion years (a review of the book and the events it covered is coming next week…). The point of bringing this up is to remind us that we are here for but a brief moment and it is in this moment that we will “make our mark,” a mark that likely will be remembered, if we’re lucky, for a few generations, after which we’ll all go the way of the sepia photographs in the garage that include people we can’t identify. The “mark” we each make may be small, but it can be meaningful. We will make and care for friends, raise and nurture children, help heal the world, and engage in myriad activities that will affect us and affect others.
Albert Camus, the proponent of the notion that acknowledges the absurdity of life, nonetheless reveled in living life fully. He stated that life can truly be experienced and lived well once one confronts one’s own mortality. It is a liberating acknowledgement. The humility of acknowledging that we are finite and unimportant in the greater scheme of things allows us to make every day count and frees us to be our best selves.
WHAT IF WE KNEW HOW LONG WE WERE TO LIVE?
The final bit of “contemplation of mortality” from this week was in a story where the protagonist learns of his own fate—the date and nature of his own death. Yes, it’s Star Trek and it is Captain Christopher Pike, of whose fate we learned in the original series.
I bring this up because, in the first two episodes, different characters weigh in on knowing this information and how it can affect Pike’s mental health, productivity, and future acts. The questions posed are important ones:
1. Is it a blessing or a curse to know of the end? Does “seeing” this deny us of the fantasy that allows us to live unimpeded by the reality of our own end?
2. Is something that is one’s “fate” etched in stone or can one “change the future”? I, of course, would like to believe events and decisions are not preordained. It’s a twist on the time travel narrative that one can’t change the past…but it would seem one can change the future.
3. Could the stark confrontation of death render Pike incapable of actually living and living well and meaningfully? This might be a metaphor for us all and that, for some, life is cheapened by its absurdity while, for others, it is valued.
4. How does someone react to knowing one’s “timetable” of life? This information can lead to great works, kind acts and a life well-lived. It can also result in frustration, unhappiness and even nihilism. Perhaps this is all is a consideration for each of us to ponder.
In any event, this is all food for thought. But it comes around to the same thing and that is that we should try to live our best, balanced lives, aware that our days are numbered and we should make them count. And yet, the flip side is that our mental health, productivity, happiness and fulfillment are enhanced by living every day as if this will never end and not fear that end.
Have a great day and make it count!
Glenn
PS: For those who are curious, I don’t usually get up early in the morning to write these (they’re usually written a bit ahead, depending upon the news). In this case, I am up early and have finished this less than an hour before it’s sent. Apologies for its less-than-complete thoughts and any inadvertent errors!