#313 Musings Beyond the Bunker (Thursday March 31)
Good morning,
Contrary to the reference above, it actually is Day Four since “the slap that launched a thousand memes.” Now that some time has passed since Will Smith committed battery on Chris Rock on international television, I have a number of further thoughts.
LESSONS LEARNED
Chief among my observations is that what every kid watching the show should have learned is that, just because someone is a celebrity, one is not imbued with special standing and they ought not be lionized. Just because someone plays a superhero saving the world in the movies does not make them heroic in any way in “real life.”
That there has yet been no consequence as yet, suggests that celebrity excuses one from accountability for one’s actions. We have seen this in Hollywood but also among our political leaders. Actions must have consequences—not standing ovations…
As seems usual these days when considering the actions of someone admired by the public, we focus on the perpetrator and seek to find explanations for his or her motives. Instead, we should focus on the victim and the dignity, grace, and calm with which he approached the event. Will Smith showed kids how not to behave. Chris Rock showed children around the world how to act in the face of bad behavior. He did not react to physical aggression with a physical response. And although his humor often is laced with dirty words, he did not react to Will Smith’s profanity with profanity or anger.
One plays a hero in the movies but behaves like a child and a bully in real life. The other plays a profane cad in comedy clubs but behaves like a hero in real life. There’s a lesson there.
THE TEACHABLE MOMENT
Last night was a teachable moment for parents and teachers. What does one say to a boy or young man after witnessing Will Smith’s appalling outburst? Few have said it better than Afshine Emrani:
“More lessons from last night's teachable moment. You should practice kindness in action above and beyond in words. I’m in awe of Chris Rock. His joke was nasty but he gets paid for pushing the envelope. He did not hit back. He de-esclated the situation. He did not file a police report. Whereas Will Smith went low and acted like a jackass, Chris rose above. Class act.”
KAREEM
In reaching for the most cogent summary of the harmful message and effects of the Smith attack, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar provides in his blog post a particularly thoughtful perspective, arguably the best I’ve read to date. Among his conclusions he says that Will Smith attacking Chris Rock was a “blow to men, women, the entertainment industry and the Black community.” He goes on, “With a single petulant blow, he advocated violence, diminished women, insulted the entertainment industry, and perpetuated stereotypes about the Black community…”
Kareem’s take on the “defending his woman” mantra voiced by some is: “This patronizing, paternal attitude infantilizes women and reduces them to helpless damsels needing a Big Strong Man to defend their honor lest they swoon from the vapors. If he was really doing it for his wife, and not his own need to prove himself, he might have thought about the negative attention this brought on them, much harsher than the benign joke. That would have been truly defending and respecting her.”
He was particularly harsh on the messaging in the Black community: “Young boys — especially Black boys — watching their movie idol not just hit another man over a joke, but then justify it as him being a superhero-like protector, are now much more prone to follow in his childish footsteps,” adding, “One of the main talking points from those supporting the systemic racism in America is characterizing Blacks as more prone to violence and less able to control their emotions. Smith just gave comfort to the enemy by providing them with the perfect optics they were dreaming of.”
Here, in its entirety, is Kareem’s post entitled “Will Smith Did a Bad Bad Thing”:
HUMOR IN IT ALL
Then there’s The Babylon Bee, which published a wonderful spoof article, with the headline, “L.A. Reinstitutes Mask Mandate to Protect People From Being Slapped by Will Smith”: https://babylonbee.com/news/la-reinstitutes-mask-mandate-to-protect-against-will-smith
Among its best lines: “CDC data proves conclusively and without a fiber of doubt that mask mandates offer significant protection from Will Smith, in the event you are near him and say something remotely funny,” said Director of Public Health, Dr. Barbara Ferrer. “However, for the safety of others, we also ask that all citizens practice social distancing of at least one mile from Will Smith.”
FATHERS
Yesterday’s birthday observations about my father brought many comments from others. These fell into several groups. Some reminisced about their fathers and the wisdom imparted to them, much of which was similar to that conveyed by father. Others expressed disappointment about their fathers and found lessons about fatherhood from the experiences of others. And others shared the loss of a father when they were children. Here are a few (unattributed) observations, which cover some of the variety of responses:
“My father…was exactly as you describe your Dad. I was/am grateful for having a dad who ‘didn’t sweat the small stuff’ and always had a million Shecky Green/Don Rickles jokes ready to roll for our entire family!”
From a father in his 90s: “I’ve always lived my life and our marriage with a sense of humor because everything else is bupkes…” [translation from Yiddish is loosely “nothing important at all”]
“We are fortunate to have had great fathers…he shared many “greatest generation character traits with Bill Sonnenberg. I know he felt more than he showed, but what he showed was true. He lost his own father at age 10, was shipped off to boarding school, graduated at 17 so he could enlist in the Navy and fight Hitler, went to college on the GI bill, worked for one company his entire career…I never saw him waver ethically or morally…He was loyal to his friends, faithful and of good humor. He appreciated ‘Hogan’s Heroes’ and the Big Red Machine. I analyze any situation by channeling, “What Would Big Dad Do?”
From someone who lost a father when he was a tween…”My father figures came from television and a few friends’ fathers from my Boy Scout troop. When my sons came along, I spent a lot of time watching those friends whom I believed were good fathers, emulating as much as I could…You are so lucky to have had the father you had and that his wise guidance was available to you until you were well into adulthood.”
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
Adam Torson’s Quotation of the Day was particularly apropos yesterday, my father’s birthday:
A man is a product of all the people that he ever loved.
-- Jason Isbell, If It Takes a Lifetime
So true.
Have a great day,
Glenn
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