Good morning and Happy Birthday Lauren!
WE’VE COME PRETTY FAR
The other day, I received some interesting genealogical information about my father’s side of the family. Paradoxically, I have always known a decent amount about my mother’s side of the family—with a grandfather who hailed from Basra and Calcutta (not known for their record keeping)—but precious little about my father’s ancestors (who came from eastern Europe).
A little about my father’s side… My grandparents emigrated with their parents from Slonim, a small town in what was then Russia and is now Belarus. Those who are familiar with the area say the area is indistinguishable from the towns of Ukraine at the time—poor, with minimal modern improvements, and always subject to violence inflicted upon them by those who were stronger, more numerous and fueled by hatred. The few black and white photographs of the town that I have seen show a town of dirt streets and animals pulling carts—looking much like a cross between a Potemkin village and a movie set of a Western “one horse town.” What a shock it must have been when my great grandparents, born in 1862 and 1868, respectively, uneducated and untraveled, left their homes and arrived in New York City.
My father was the product of a dysfunctional childhood home. His recollections of his father was that the man was full of love, as he loved children and dogs with abandon. It’s just that his love was the love of general, rather than specific, offering little in the way of special love toward his own children. As for his love of women, that too was not limited to the woman with whom he shared a home. Consequently, my father always looked to his older brother (by six years) as the “father figure” and best friend throughout his life. That the two of them made it out of such a situation and became physicians (with a sister who became a teacher) is a testament to perseverance.
I have no first hand knowledge of my paternal grandparents. I was named for my paternal grandmother, whom I obviously did not meet (Jews name children in honor of departed relatives). I also did not meet my estranged paternal grandfather, who died when I was ten years old. It was a shock to me at the time that the man had passed away, as I had not considered before then that I had “another grandfather” out there in the world.
EDUCATION WAS THE KEY TO SUCCESS
Years ago during High Holy Day services, the rabbi was giving a sermon that touched upon education. Our kids knew high highly we prized education, as did our parents before us. Our family would always talk about America being a great country of opportunity. Weaving these concepts together, I leaned over and asked Lauren to guess how many of my grandparents graduated from college. The answer, of course, was zero. How many from high school? Ditto. Elementary? Same answer. Yet these two sets of grandparents each produced three college graduates, most with advanced degrees.
MY FIRST MEETING WITH ANNA—ACROSS TIME
My brother-in-law (Gale’s husband) is an amateur genealogical sleuth. He unearthed information about my grandfather Morris’s parents, Jacob and Anna—people who are but a haze in memory, if a memory to anyone at all, without a known photograph. They were born in the 1860s and emigrated in the late 1890s. The most interesting of the records Andrew recovered stopped me in my tracks. It was an application for a passport submitted by Anna in 1924. Attached to the application was her photograph—the only time I have ever been able to look into this woman’s eyes. The application was signed with her “mark,” as she could not read or write. Contained in the file was a letter from a witness, attesting to her having actually made that mark. I could hardly grasp the idea that only a few generations ago, our family came from poverty in an unfriendly area between two powerful neighbors, which was decimated by the Nazis, controlled by the Soviets and now near the center of the current violence brought on Ukraine by Russia. These people came to America uneducated, illiterate, but with a dream.
BIRTHDAYS
When we tally up the successes, failures, and experiences in our lives, it is unlikely we will comment on how great our business affairs were. Rather, we will consider friends and family—interpersonal relationships that we earned and nurtured—as our greatest accomplishments. And chief among these is the partnership with a spouse in raising children.
Andrea and I were blessed with three remarkable children, each of whom have provided us pride in their unique personalities, humanity and accomplishments. Today is the birthday of Lauren and Brad. People correctly note that it’s a bittersweet day. But actually, it is mostly sweet. We remember Brad at his best, singing, acting, scrunched up on the couch silently reading (and occasionally quoting aloud) from some comic book or deep science fiction yarn, doing impersonations, or watching the Back to the Future movies or The Simpsons for the umpteenth time.
It would be unfair if our sole focus were on Brad. It is not. It is Lauren’s day too, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. We watched the same silly movies but also lost countless brain cells while watching endless episodes of Gossip Girl. We played many card games and board games (which I never let her win—of course now she never lets me win), traveled on many trips and shared many of the same books. There also were the endless soccer games, debate tournaments, and ballet recitals. She is everything I could ever imagine in a daughter. There is so much to say but I will resist turning this into the typical Facebook post where people share how great everyone is in their lives (although in Lauren’s case, it might be true). I won’t talk about her competitiveness, volunteerism, empathy and desire to make the world a better place, nor about the way she connects with friends. I won’t discuss her resilience, determination, idealism, and principles, or the way her entire face lights up when she smiles—as these mentions would only embarrass her and make her angry with me! So I’ll just commend some of her latest writing—her “side hustle” while in law school: https://thecrimereport.org/2021/11/19/how-the-supreme-court-laid-the-foundations-for-racialized-policing/
https://thecrimereport.org/2022/01/07/report-family-centered-approach-improves-reentry-recidivism/
TWO YEARS OF MUSINGS
Today marks two years to the day from the first “Musing From the Bunker.” It was a long time ago that we began social distancing, staying home, arranging for “bubbles” of family and/or friends, washing groceries with sanitizer, and generally fearing what the pandemic had in store. I would like to think most of this is behind us. The Musings, however, live on.
Have a great week,
Glenn
From the archives:
HBDay Lauren & Bradley.